5 Tips for Future Hockey Parents

Hockey Sticks

It’s “Spring Forward” weekend for us Daylight Savings folks.  Normally that brings images of grass and flowers sprouting in the long-awaited warmth.  Sigh.  But here in The State of Hockey, it’s Minnesota high school hockey tournament week.  Ah, hockey.  Where moms watch (yell) in the stands and dads watch (yell) around the glass.  It’s really a great system.

Hockey Van

In case you’re not or have never been a hockey parent, and you may be in the future, here are my top five tips for you:

  • Hockey practice is never cancelled.  Seriously, never.  Don’t call the coach.  Don’t call the manager.  Just wake up your kid and get to the ice.  Trust me.
  • Always (and I mean always) keep multiple blankets, hats, scarves, and mittens in your vehicle.  Oh, your team will be inside?  Silly, they play on ice.  It is freezing.  Bring the extra gear to the stands.  People will think you’ve got it all together and you will be very popular.
  • You will always need to have at least one vehicle that seats a small army.  Even if you personally only own one child, you will acquire others.  And their smelly bags.  Believe me, in a confined space, you want those as far away from you as possible.  Yes, I know your child is clean.  But he will smell…and his gear will smell even worse.
  • Never leave home without your cowbell or some sort of manufactured clapping device.  Laryngitis is not sexy.  And you will yell…regardless of your previous demeanor, you will be magically transformed into a hockey mom.
  • Learn the lyrics to The Gear Daddies “Zamboni” song.  It will give you immense pleasure to roust your children out of bed for those 5:00 A.M. practices when you can sing a little as you move from room to room.

 Hockey Mom

So as I leave you to retake my seat in front of the televised, non-stop action, remember to spring forward this weekend and always be a good sport.  And here’s a little joke that I swear my mother-in-law could’ve written:

Four women bragged about their children over coffee.  The first says, “My son is a priest.  When he walks into a room, everyone calls him father.”
The next woman tries to top her, “Really?  My son married the princess of a small European country and when he walks into the room, people call him your highness!”
The third woman chirps, “Well, my son is a cardinal of the church.  Whenever he walks into a room, people call him your eminence!”
The fourth woman is just sitting there sipping her coffee silently as the other three look at her. Finally she smiles and says, “Oh.  My son is a very large and handsome hockey player.  Whenever he walks into a room, women say, “OH MY GOD…!”


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Heather Emmel on March 7, 2014 at 10:09 am

    Tip #2 is appropriate for baseball in Duluth, too!


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